Moving your family to a new home can involve considerable upheaval and upset. If you’re moving across national boundaries, to a new and unfamiliar country with its own culture, language, and conventions, then the transition might be even more difficult.
So, how can we best approach this challenge? Here are a few points to consider.
Talk It Out: Getting Everyone on Board
When your family is taken by surprise by your decisions, they’re more likely to react negatively. While you might not be able to give your family an equal say in where you travel and how you live your lives, you can at least involve them in the major decisions.
Simply communicating openly, and making an honest attempt to involve the family in the decisions you make, can generate a considerable amount of goodwill. This might help you to avoid giving the impression that you don’t care about the move’s emotional impact on your children.
What Kids Need at Every Age
Of course, your conversations with your children will need to be appropriate to their age, and their ability to understand the move and its implications. Different children reach different levels of maturity at different times. But, by and large, older children might be expected to understand the situation more easily than younger ones.
All children, however, will benefit from reassurance and validation. Make sure that they feel comfortable approaching you with questions and negative feelings.
Managing the Paperwork (and the Stress)
If you don’t have a grasp of the legal intricacies that the move involves, then it’s natural to feel that the situation is beyond your control. This applies especially if you’re going through a divorce, or looking to deal with child custody, at the same time. For this reason, getting a competent legal representative onside is essential.
Financial Prep for the Big Move
Moving home involves a major expense. Having a plan in place to deal with all of the costs will make life much easier later on. Make sure that you have budgeted for unexpected delays, so that your plans won’t be disrupted in the event of a money-related problem.
Co-Parenting and Cross-Border Considerations
If you and your former spouse are based in different jurisdictions, but you want to share custody of your children, then you’ll have to come to an agreement if you want to avoid legal problems. The best approach is to arrive at a legally binding parenting plan, devised with the help of your lawyers.
Building a New Routine, Together
Once the move is complete, you might feel a sense of disruption. A new routine can help you deal with this. In your new home, you’ll have an opportunity to dispense with the habits and rituals that aren’t suited to your new circumstances. Come up with a new set of routines together, and live your new life in the way that best supports your goals and ambitions.
Lynn Martelli is an editor at Readability. She received her MFA in Creative Writing from Antioch University and has worked as an editor for over 10 years. Lynn has edited a wide variety of books, including fiction, non-fiction, memoirs, and more. In her free time, Lynn enjoys reading, writing, and spending time with her family and friends.
